Hey there, friend…
I’m writing about this again even though I wrote about it before, because I know it’s the reality of so many people.
Now playing: Rolling in the deep by Adele
A lot of times, I’ve been in a state where my inconsistencies and weaknesses stared me in the face, and all I could do is drown in my pool of thoughts, tears and all of those things… But God always comes through for me, Hallelujah.
Impostor syndrome (uncountable) (psychology)
A psychological phenomenon in which a person is unable to internalize his or her accomplishments, remaining convinced that he or she does not deserve any accompanying success.
Impostor syndrome makes you have self doubt and uncertainty about who you are, your skills and your talents, and despite your experience and achievements, you feel a sense of unworthiness which makes you work yourself hard, even when you know it could take a toll on your well-being.
It’s possible that you’ve had to work so hard and while people around me would say ‘Oh, you’re doing so well’, ‘I like the way you did this’, ‘It is excellent’, and all sorts, there would always be a conflict between what they perceived you to be and your own self perception, and you’re like ‘Oh, I just got lucky’.
And even though you’d love to say ‘Oh, yesss! I did that’, because you know you didn’t just get lucky; you worked hard; there was something that made you feel you didn’t achieve the things you did on merit.
You would get a recognition and feel ‘Oh, I’m not that smart’, and because you don’t want to be seen less of yourself in a role, you would work hard, sometimes, until you burnout just to feel worthy of the roles you don’t believe you deserve.
Sometimes, you do a lot of explaining because you feel you’ve not done enough and before people realize your shortcoming and incapabilities, you should explain your gap in intelligence.
Do you think you’re living a lie?? Well, then, everyone is. Everyone is a fraud. Everyone feels like a fraud. There’s something everyone is doing well but they don’t feel enough, so they deflect compliments and think it’s not a big deal.
COPING WITH IMPOSTOR SYNDROME?
It’s absolutely understandable to feel out of place or undeserving, but if you think working yourself will make you feel less of what you feel, you joke!
One thing I’ve learnt is doing more makes you feel it more.
I’m not saying you should stop working hard, I’m just emphasizing the fact that working hard will not stop the feeling.
You should stop comparing yourself. Everyone is Unique and you’re who you are because people recognized your skills and talents. (You sure couldn’t fool the whole world).
It’s okay to not be perfect at everything that you do, but if it seems someone else has everything under control, don’t let their success highlight your flaws.
You can also absolutely learn on the job; develop the skills that interest you.
Something else that helps better is sharing your impostor feelings with a trusted friend, it will make it less overwhelming… And this is why I emphasize on having good friends in your lifetime… But you see, talking to Abba about it is a whole new vibe; no one does it better.
That’s the only person that will take the feelings and show you promises that will challenge your doubts and encourage you, and you’ll definitely be fine.- The cost of vulnerability, no consultation fee.
Bottom line? Laslas, Abba na real gee; E no dey disappoint.